Sunday, February 27, 2011

Choosing To See & Choosing To Change

I recently finished reading the book Choosing To SEE by Mary Beth Chapman. I can not even put into words how awesome the book was. Numerous times I found myself reading into the wee hours because I just could not put the book down! Tears often ran down my face as I read the words that seem to only be able to come from the heart of a mommy! It is an amazing book filled with words of encouragement and hope for those times that we just don't think we can survive or those times where all we want to do is yell at God. As much as I don't want to admit it, I have had those moments in my own life, more then I would like. Her faith inspires me and I high recommend if you haven't read her book, do so soon!

While her book came from the tragic loss of their sweet daughter Maria, she speaks about so much more of her life. Her childhood, marriage, struggles as a wife and mother and her relationship with God. Her book not only inspired me but it made me start to really look at my own life and what areas I need to choose to SEE where God was leading me. So many times I think we choose NOT to SEE because it either hurts to much or we just don't have enough FAITH in ourselves or in God to really BELIEVE in HIM and what HE can DO!!

Those close to me know that these last few months have been some pretty tough months for me. True colors have been shown and I have been forced to accept that not everyone and everything is as it seems. As much as it has hurt, I have had to deal with it and move on. Through God and his Faithfulness I have learned so much these last few months and he has made clear to me the path for this next chapter. He has placed wonderful people into my life, who I pray I can continue to build close friendships with as well as placed different opportunities in both my life and Noah's life that I know will not only help us grow but what will also be a encouragement as we continue on our journey to bring Noah's little brother home!!

I think so many times we choose not to see because we know if we see what God is really trying to show us, the change that comes with that will be hard, sometimes we think it will be too hard. What we forget is that our God is bigger then any change we deal with on this earth and we must choose to always place our lives, plans, hopes and dreams in HIS hands and CHOOSE to FOLLOW his calling for our life, even if that calling means changing things in our lives that we never wanted to change! I guess you could say that is where I am in my life right now. Things have had to change. Things that I never thought would need to change, but God is showing me one small piece at a time that this change is only going to bring bigger and better opportunities for my life and Noah's life.

I know change is never easy, and trust me some of the things God is wanting me to change scares me a little bit (I have never been one for change, lol I am OCD like that) Some of areas that need changing is going to take a lot of effort on my part, a lot of prayer and a lot of relying on God and strength that can only come from HIM! As always I covet your prayers. This adoption journey has turned into a journey about so much more then just bringing a little guy into our family! I pray that God continues to mold mine and Noah's hearts and minds so that we may continue to be lights for God in a world that is often so dark.

1 comment:

  1. Wasn't this book THE BEST?!?! I loved it so much and read it so quickly. I have been meaning to pass it on to someone - thanks for the reminder!

    Special prayers for you tonight as you continue on this journey :)

    xoxo, Kelly

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