Tuesday, March 27, 2012

One Word......Powerful

Where I Belong

"Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside. Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing but am I alive? I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find"

"All I know is I'm not home yet. This is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus! This is not where I belong!"


These are lyrics from one of my favorite songs! Building 429 sings a song called "Where I Belong" It's funny I had never heard it before I traveled to Ethiopia but ever since coming home I literally hear it almost every day. Hearing those words "This is not where I belong" speak differently to me then some may think. Yes this earthly world is not where any of us belong. This is not our home, Heaven is our home. This place is a mere stepping stone to Glory!! A place where we can be the Hands and Feet of Jesus while we are here!!

I have been thinking about that a lot since coming home. Being a single mom I could easily use the excuse that I just don't have the time? I mean come on I work full time, have an active 7 year old, have been going through the adoption process for the last 18 months, have a home to take care of, family, friends, and the list goes on. There is only one problem, I want to do MORE! While I was in Ethiopia I found myself looking at the children in the market, on the streets and in the mountains and thinking to myself my children will NEVER know what it's like to live like this, so why should these children?

Why when my son has known who Jesus is since he could talk, why should a sweet child there look at me with confusion when they hear their Father's name? Why when my son gives me the "look" when he sees green beans on his plate, why are there children in Ethiopia begging on the streets, walking for miles in hopes of finding food? I went to Noah's closet this morning to get him clothes and was convicted when I saw all that he had, thinking about all those sweet children who wear the same thing for days.

None of this is acceptable to me! I want to do something! The question is what does He want me to do? That has been my question and my prayer. Ethiopia captured my heard in more ways then one. Not only will I always be connected through my son, but a part of me will always miss being there. There are people who look at me like I am crazy when I say that. People think why would you want to leave all your stuff here and go there? Exactly friends, "stuff" God tells us in his Word not to store things up on this Earth, because none of it will go with us to Heaven.

I have been talking to friends since coming home who can relate. No offense to my friends who have never been to Ethiopia, but you just don't get it unless you experience it. My own family at times I am sure have thought I am a tad crazy for some of the thoughts I have. I have shared with friends that I miss being in Ethiopia. I miss the feeling of peace I had while I was there and spending more time seeing God in the land and the people and seeing true happiness when there is nothing. Being a nurse and having worked in a Pediatrician's office I found myself wondering what if I lived here, I could do so much for these precious children.

Let me say before I start getting tons of e-mails, no I am not planning on moving to Ethiopia any time soon. As I told my mom, who thought the same thing when I came home and was sharing my heart with her, "God would have to make it crystal clear to me that this is what he wants me to do" I do though often wonder is this where I belong? Or is there something else God has in store for me that will allow me to be His Hands and Feet for the people of Ethiopia? My adoption has been an amazing journey of Faith, Obedience and God's Provision! I can't wait for the day that my sweet Isaiah is back in my arms forever BUT my journey won't stop there! My journey I feel, is just beginning!!


Monday, March 26, 2012

12 Weeks

I still have a hard time believing it has been 12 weeks since I have held my sweet boy. While it feels like a lot longer, I have to be honest and tell you the time has gone by pretty quickly........until now!! It seems like ever since finding out Isaiah's birth mom has her embassy interview that time has stopped!! These last couple of weeks have been so hard and frustrating but as always the Lord is Gracious and in my sadness he has sent another blessing to sustain me until I can get back to Ethiopia.

Do ya'll remember me mentioning my friend who was going back to Ethiopia to stay with her daughter until she and her husband got embassy clearance. Well She has been there for going on 6 days now and what an incredible blessing she has been to me!! Everyday I have woken up to an e-mail with little updates on my little guy and of course precious pictures that just melt my heart!!


Seriously look at that face!! Could you not just eat him up!! I have to admit there is a part of me that just gets so sad looking at how "big" he is looking!! I compared his referral picture to these pictures and oh my word, he has changed so much :) I love this picture below. Not only is it the most sweetest picture ever but I love how there is a picture of Noah and I on the wall for him to look at. I still have to laugh at the pink shirt. It's funny, I have like 4-5 pictures of him in this shirt. I don't know about you, but I think this picture looks like he is thinking "come get me mommy, I'm ready to come home"

                                                      I JUST LOVE THOSE EYES!!!

Not only is Isaiah getting plenty of love from Julie but I also have a couple of other friends who are in Ethiopia right now for court and embassy who have loved on him for me!! I love to think of all the wonderful friendships I have made because of this adoption journey and all the sweet little children that Isaiah will get to know and connect with in the states as he gets older. I am already thinking of planning a little 3-4 day weekend trip to Colorado later this summer to visit some friends who's son was in the transition house with Isaiah, and I plan to visit with some other friends in DC on the way to and from Ethiopia. Both sets of friends stayed in Ethiopia for weeks while they were stuck in Embassy so they know my sweet boy pretty well and are praying with me that he is home soon!!

Of course Julie and I have already said we will be lifelong friends! I have so enjoyed getting to know her through e-mails and text messages and neither one of us can wait for me to get to Ethiopia so we can finally meet in person!! Please be praying that Julie and Adam make it through embassy without any problems. They are still waiting to hear about their case.

I have so much to update ya'll on :) but until now haven't been able to find the time or the energy to unload everything into a blog post. I seriously may need to break it down into
2-3 post, Ha! Between birthday parties (a certain little "big" man turned 7) and work issues, health stuff and the usual favorite of mine "spending much needed time with my Father" I just haven't had the mental energy to blog. I did however want to update ya'll on my sweet boy. Honestly I stay humbled that you choose to follow me on this journey and pray for me and my little family.

Check back this week, I might surprise you with another post in the same week, Ha!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Guess What.....

My case got submitted to embassy on February 29th!! Seriously ya'll that is how crazy thing have been. I couldn't find the time to sit down and blog about it, Ha! You want to know the best part though? I got an e-mail today from the embassy telling me they were requesting an interview with Isaiah's birth mom. That is great news! That means there is movement with my case, Praise the Lord!! The e-mail explained that typically it takes 2-3 weeks for the birth mom to get an appointment. If her appointment goes well, I should get clearance to travel for mine and Isaiah's embassy appointment in Addis and then we will BOTH be on our way home forever!!! I have been so happy today at the thought that he is really getting close to coming home!!!

My sweet boy is 9 months old now and just look at that head of curls!! I just love him so much!! I can not get over how big he is getting :) I can't wait to have him back in my arms!! I am super blessed because a friend of mine is traveling back to Ethiopia next week to stay until she gets her embassy appointment and that means I will get some updates on my boy and a picture or two :)


I have some specific prayer request if ya'll would like to join me in praying:
  • Please pray that they are able to locate Isaiah's birth mom and that she complies with her appointment and shows up and that there are no problems
  • Pray that Isaiah continues to grow and is healthy and that the Lord continues to prepare his heart for me and I am praying that he remembers me when I get back there. I am sending some pictures of he and I with my friend who is going over there next week.
  • PLEASE pray for my friends who are all waiting for embassy clearance as well. I have 5 specific friends who all traveled within weeks of me who are all waiting for embassy.
  • I have been praying for a while that the Lord would provide a way for me to stay home with Isaiah for 6 weeks once he is home, to allow for bonding/attaching. Being a single mom I know that is asking a lot, but I also know our God is bigger then any paycheck!
Thanks friends for your support and prayers. Some of you I don't even know, but I know you have prayed for me and my boys and I will always be thankful for that. God bless you!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

More Then Just A Crib

So last week I decided it was time to start preparing for Isaiah's official arrival home. I know some of you may be thinking "seriously, you waited this long to get ready" but ya'll have to remember I have a certain little 6.5yr old whose little heart I have been trying to guard and protect over the last 18 months. Adoption is a beautiful thing but also an emotional roller coaster. With so many "possibilities and what if's" during the adoption process, I wanted to make sure Noah didn't get confused or anxious during the waiting. I think I did that enough for the both of us, Ha  I have been missing Isaiah so much since coming home and honestly I wasn't ready to buy big stuff like a crib until now, because I was afraid it would make me miss him even more!!

While at Target, my all time favorite store :) I found a great crib at a GREAT price! Seriously, it was on sale for $75 OFF!! I was so excited. Plus my sweet friend Brooke was so kind to give me her son's old crib bedding that looks almost brand new!! The best part was it was exactly the type of bedding I was hoping to get for Isaiah. I am so thankful for the wonderful friends God has blessed me with.

Okay, back to the title of this post. Noah is known to LOVE any and all styrofoam that come with boxes. He can sit for hours building and playing with it. I swear he is going to grow up to be an engineer :) He loves to build and will use anything from cans to salt and pepper shakers and sweetner packets. Anyway, when we started to get the crib out of the box he was beyond excited at the many different pieces of styrofoam. Long, short, square, rectangle and more! With his cars in hand he was ready to build a town and ramps.

Fast forward two hours and there was styrofoam EVERYWHERE. My livingroom floor was covered, not only in pieces but also the super tiny little micro pieces that seem to take weeks to get vacuumed up. You know the product of sweet little boys breaking the big pieces into little pieces to make the perfect addition to a town they are building for their cars :) I busted out the vacuum while Noah picked up the bigger pieces to throw away. We were almost done when Noah came over to me with this big smile on his face.

During all the taring of styrofoam, a certain piece had been torn and not noticed until we were cleaning up. Noah couldn't believe that out of all the styrofoam there was a piece torn into the shape of Africa!! I couldn't believe it either. Seriously, I love how the Lord does things like this!! My little artist was quick to get a red marker and draw a heart where he said Ethiopia is. My heart was about to bust with love and joy at the sight of how much Noah loves his little brother, and then he grabbed the marker again...........


YEP!! As if I wasn't close to tears already, Noah drew two little people to represent he and I making our journey to bring his little brother home!! Yes ladies, I was in tears at this point!! My sweet guy has such a big heart. I can only imagine what all God has in store for him and how Noah will use that big heart for His Glory!!


The finished product :) I love it!! Noah goes to it through out the week and reminds me how awesome it is going to be once Isaiah gets home. I couldn't agree more.


Sunday, March 4, 2012

LOTS To Update!!

Hey ya'll :) I know it has been a while since I posted. Things have been crazy, but good. God is continuing to teach me so much through this adoption experience and I can't wait to share it all with ya! A much needed update will come soon, but for the next 48 hours I am working at the hospital, so it will have to wait just a few more days! Hope you have a blessed Sunday!!
 
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