Friday, September 6, 2013

5 On Friday


Today I'm linking up with 5 on Friday :-)

  Every year on Labor Day our church a HUGE community outreach called Family Palooza. It is one big carnival for free :-) They have games, petting zoo's, pony rides, bounce houses/slides, inflatable water slides, face painting, music, train rides and lots more!! My boys had a blast. Isaiah went down most of the water slides just like big brother, lol the child loves water and thought he was big stuff doing what his big brother was doing.
Since I spend most of my time studying (and since I am currently living by Dave Ramsey and his envelope system) I decided to take advantage of $5 movie Tuesday and kids eat free at McAllisters and treat my boys to a movie and dinner :-) Noah has been begging me to go see Planes! I have to say it was a really cute movie and Isaiah shocked me with his reacting to the movie. He didn't move the entire time it was playing. It was so cute, every time he saw a plane he would yell "momma plane, plane" He go so excited. Both boys really enjoyed it :-)
Keeping it real, nursing school is draining me :-( I know I am right where the Lord wants me and I know He has me in school for a reason, but boy is it hard. I keep telling myself it will be worth it and it will be over soon, but seriously, ugh!! I am still trying to convince Isaiah that my Med Surge book is not a bible, lol
This season of nursing school has been especially hard these last 3 months. The class load has been extremely heavy, I failed my first two exams and have spent the entire quarter trying to pull my grades up to passing. I have really struggled with my time with the Lord this quarter. I don't sleep near the normal amount a person should and I stay frazzled with trying to study and retain all the information. From the moment I wake up I am going with either school, the boys, house/mommy duties or all of the above at one time! I keep telling myself this is a season, but not being able to get my designated quite time with the Lord every morning is really getting to me.
So it appears that I have a birthday coming up soon?? Yes, the big 3-0 is right around the corner and I am honestly not sure how I feel about it? On one hand it's just another day so no big deal, but at the same time I have been doing some major reflecting on the last 10 years of my life lately and am realizing all the amazing things the Lord has done in my life. The ways he has protected me when I didn't ask for it or think I needed it, the ways He has showered me with grace and mercy when I didn't deserve it and how He has used so many trials and road blocks to build stepping stones to where I am now and for where He is taking me. Stay tuned, I think a "I'm turning 30" post is in the making, lol

Monday, September 2, 2013

Confused

The thing about following the Lord is sometimes is can come with confusion. The weird thing is our God is not a God of confusion, yet tonight I am confused? Let me preface this with I am writing this post more for myself then anything. I hope to look back on tonight's post and see what the Lord was doing and preparing me for. You see, most people who enroll in nursing school have a goal in mind. They want to graduate, get a job at some big hospital, they have a specialty in mind that they want to work in, such as labor and delivery or pediatrics. They set their minds to it and get it done. All that is great and that was actually my mind set in 2009 when I enrolled in nursing school the first time to get my LPN, but then I graduated in 2010 and over the next 3 years the Lord would do something in my life that was completely unexpected.........He broke me..........

As ashamed as I am to admit before I graduated in 2010 all I thought about was me. Where was I going to work, how much money would I make, would I like the job I got, would I get to work with pediatrics, which is where my heart is? Then the Lord lead me to international adoption and blessed me with my sweet IZ and during that process He took me to Ethiopia twice, where He showed me things that will never leave my heart or my mind. Traveling to Ethiopia wasn't just about seeing where my son came from so I could tell him stories when he got older. It was about seeing the brokenness that sin has caused, seeing that beautiful place through the eyes of our Creator. It's been almost 18 months since I was there and I miss it terribly. I recently had the opportunity to go back for a week and had to decline due to finances. Oh how my heart wants to go back. 

This friends is where I get confused? Why did the Lord bring me back to nursing school? In November of 2012 I lost my nursing job very unexpectedly. I prayed, seeking His guidance and while I applied for other jobs, I also applied to nursing school because something in my heart told me it was time to go back and get my RN. Every job I applied for ended with a denial letter but every step in the process of applying for school was going very smoothly and next thing I know I received my acceptance letter in the mail. Okay God, I hear ya!!

So this past January I began the 15 month journey to get my RN. Am I doing it because I wanted to? Um negative. Am I doing it because the Lord made it clear this is the path He wants me on right now? You better believe it! I have learned that even when we don't want to, even when we think what is being asked of us is a little crazy, as His children we are to be obedient and trust in His plans, which are always far better than our own. 

So here I am, in the end of my 3rd quarter (three more to go, if Lord willing I pass this one I'm currently in) and I sit anxiously awaiting to see what the Lord is going to do with my nursing once I graduate? Medical missions? A job here in town? A move out of state, out of the country? I don't know, but I do know that He holds my future and for that I am forever thankful. So I will continue to push through the long nights, the lack of sleep, the stress, even the confusion, trusting in my God who is much bigger than my little simple mind. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight."     ~   Proverbs 3:5-6
 
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